I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
