I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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