You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
