I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
