well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize