hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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