my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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