I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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