So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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