My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
