I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Umm I'm too high to move.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
