Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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