Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
