I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
