My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
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