man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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