Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
