Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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