I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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