so explain again why im purple
no
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
