sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
