Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
