It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
