singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
