He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
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We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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