So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
