I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
