Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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