so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
