i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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