I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize