Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
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my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
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He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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