I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
