Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
