a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
