making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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