One girl and one boy is just not enough.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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