Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
