Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize