Sober January is a disaster.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
