omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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