i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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