i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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