So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
