everyone is single if you try hard enough
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
