if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
