Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
