He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
