I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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