I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
