I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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