omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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