I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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