It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
