So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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