Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
