I want to stick my p in your. b.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
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Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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