Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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