How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need to sanitize my soul.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
