I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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